Two points

"A boy's desire to be powerful isn't as much about muscle as it is about heart and the fact that if you allow yourself to be dependent on someone--for a smile, for love, for sex, for self-respect--then you can be devastated by her as well." (Chapter 10)

When my proposal was rejected by my first love, I was in despair for a long time. I was at 19. I was frustrated for a long time. I was trying hard to fix it many ways. But I think I was too bold, too naive, too innocent and too ignorant at that time as to my maturity. The moment that I was rejected by her was like I felt a big humiliation. It was difficult to accept it. Why, why, why! I just ketp asking myself and thinking about her. And I knew the answer. I know the answer.

"With boys, the combination of anger and alcohol is a recipe for violence." (Chapter 11)

While I was in despair due to the unsuccessful love, I started to drink. And I was also angry at our government at that time due to killing civilians with military force. I was surprised by my drinking habits. I noticed I became aggressive and violent while and after drinking. I often broke the beer mugs while cheering up hard. I punched hard a punching machine after drinking to realize that all my knuckles were bruised next morning. And I even climbed over the second floor of the building from the window side using only two poles outside to sneak in for a sleep on campus. As I remember, it was a dangerous act. Due to my bad drinking habit, I decided to try refraining from drinking ever since.