Gendered Extremes

I honestly haven't read any of the posts on this week's readings. So, I apologize if I'm repeating any of your points.

I wanted to address the argument in "How Boys and Girls Learn Differently". I avoided this piece until the last possible second. Statements like this make me cringe. It limits how we address boys and girls. It totally ignores the progress in society due to movements in feminism and the queer community.

Men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus. We both live on Earth.

The authors make very valid points as to the physical differences in males and females. I won't deny that. But they seem to overvalue the importance of biology over social conditioning and evolution. Is it possible that certain parts of a person's brain develop better when they receive stimulation that supports brain development, like lifting weights to build an isolated muscle? Could humankind have slowly weeded out characteristics that were more androgynous than others over the course of time? It's obvious that males and females are different, but how have our behaviors and traditions perpetuated these differences?

The authors point out how our current society (I assume they mean the West) demonstrates both more androgynous developments as well as more traditionally gendered outcomes. They accurately attribute the differences due to the struggle of resources. However, the scarcity of resources has little connection to biology. Maybe they should look at how power structures skewed by the uneven distribution of resources has an effect on gender roles.

Additionally, why does the growth of more gendered households mean that sex dictates it so. I see widening gap in political and social views in the US. While feminism has allowed women to choose motherhood, careers, or both, many families, communities are trying to hold onto what they feel are traditions in family structures. I see extremes in gender roles that are due more to choice and privilege than sex.

How do we explain families of single-sex parents?I have female friends who are raising their child together. As far as gender roles, there are overlaps everywhere. Their son loves balls as much as dolls. He plays with his blocks in equal amounts with his kitchen set. When will biology make this all void?

I go back and forth on the authors' arguments...

When considering the advanced growth in only men due to raised levels of testosterone, I realize the authors have neglected to mention that similar patterns have existed in women as well. My wife is nearly 5'11". Her grandparents were both 5'4". Could there be other factors? Her father (over 6'2") is a chemical engineer and grew up in an auto worker's household during the automotive boom. His shorter parents grew up in a much more impoverished environment. Could malnutrition/greater nutrition have had a much greater effect than lower/increased levels of testosterone?

When I look to my students over the last ten years, I again see the differences primarily caused socially, not biologically. Fathers and mothers of sons celebrate athletic achievements and allow their sons certain liberties with their speech. Girls are coddled, protected. As a result of the differences, they act differently.

Of course, I have found that when there are students who diverge from these gendered characteristics, there is also a divergence in their upbringing. More athletic, "butch" girls have relationships with their fathers revolving around sports or more (so-called) masculine activities. Conversely, boys more attached to their mothers (usually single parents) with strong female role-models such as sisters and aunts tend to demonstrate supposedly feminine characteristics.

Biology alone cannot explain these differences and variances. Again, I'm not saying they're not factors, but a more balanced argument has to be made.

Two points

"A boy's desire to be powerful isn't as much about muscle as it is about heart and the fact that if you allow yourself to be dependent on someone--for a smile, for love, for sex, for self-respect--then you can be devastated by her as well." (Chapter 10)

When my proposal was rejected by my first love, I was in despair for a long time. I was at 19. I was frustrated for a long time. I was trying hard to fix it many ways. But I think I was too bold, too naive, too innocent and too ignorant at that time as to my maturity. The moment that I was rejected by her was like I felt a big humiliation. It was difficult to accept it. Why, why, why! I just ketp asking myself and thinking about her. And I knew the answer. I know the answer.

"With boys, the combination of anger and alcohol is a recipe for violence." (Chapter 11)

While I was in despair due to the unsuccessful love, I started to drink. And I was also angry at our government at that time due to killing civilians with military force. I was surprised by my drinking habits. I noticed I became aggressive and violent while and after drinking. I often broke the beer mugs while cheering up hard. I punched hard a punching machine after drinking to realize that all my knuckles were bruised next morning. And I even climbed over the second floor of the building from the window side using only two poles outside to sneak in for a sleep on campus. As I remember, it was a dangerous act. Due to my bad drinking habit, I decided to try refraining from drinking ever since.

Chapter 11 & 12

Chapter 11

One of the toughest things to combat with junior high students is that need to be in physical contact with each other. For instance boys in my school love to hit each other in the genitals in the same manner discussed in the book. To me it seems to be a cruel and pointless game in which the boys will pick on one boy and that everyone is to gang up on that boy.
The only way I found to effectively combat this behavior was to threaten to have the boys call their fathers at work and explain to their father why they were touching another boy’s genitalia. It did stop the “ball tapping,” but the physical contact still exists. The boys are always pushing, shoving, stealing from each other and then responding physically because of the loss. I agree that a certain amount of physical activity amongst students is to be expected. I wish that my school was able to provide someone for the most violent of the boys to visit with; some type of anger management.
One way that I do allow the boys to explore their feelings and express their more aggressive nature is in their writing. I encourage the boys to write about battles, warfare, zombies, and anything else that they want to talk about. I believe as long as they are writing about it then they have a way to let it out of their aggression. My fellow teachers are unsure, but I think that the boys need to have an outlet for their aggression.


Chapter 12

I found this chapter to be full of good advice on how to work with young men. Overall what I learned is that boys need relationships that are open in communication so that the boy has someone to help him try and figure out who he is as a person. This final chapter was a great way to end the book. I enjoyed the advice it gave to me on how to mentor my students and help them to make the passage into manhood easier than what I faced.
“The only way to make a difference with a boy is to give him powerful experiences that speak to his inner life that speaks to his soul and let him know that he is entitled to have the full range of human experience (Kindlon and Thompson 258).” I feel that I need to encourage and inspire my students through words, actions, and deeds and this book has given me some of the tools need to do that. Perhaps I can find a way to help my students to have a life changing experience such as described at the end of chapter twelve. This book has really forced me to question what it is that I want to do with my career. How can I best make a positive impact on my students? Do I remain in the classroom or do I move on to counseling or administration. So many times over the course of reading this book I have questioned what the best place is for me in education. What position will allow me to have the most positive impact on my students? All I can say for sure is that I truly enjoyed reading this book and that I have enjoyed sharing this book with my coworkers.

Chapter 10

One of my students at the beginning of this year asked me if what her older sister had told her about me was true. She went on to explain that her older sister that I was always managing to break up the boyfriend girlfriend relationships that I heard about. She said that her sister told that it was best to avoid letting me know who was dating. The best part is that she is right. To me junior high is too young to be dating. To me dating starts with holding hands, then you get bored with that, and then you kiss until that is boring, and when that starts to get boring sex happens.
One of my first days at Auxvasse a fellow female teacher said to me, “Have you watched that girl, she is in heat.” Sure enough by the end of the year she had developed a type of reputation that no one should have. It seems that she truly was experiencing raging hormones that she just couldn’t control.
The class that this girl is in are now freshmen and some of the male students have come back to tell me about their sexual exploits or conquests. It disturbs me to know how casual the students treat sex. What I feel is worse is the types of things that I hear about they are doing as they have sex. One young couple was reported to have recorded their session on a videotape to share with their friends. It seems that sex for high school students is like a right of passage for them into high school. It is no wonder that the statistic that I heard about Detroit is true. I heard on the radio that 60% of the children born in Detroit do not know who their fathers are.
One of my daily goals is to teach my male students to have the upmost respect for the female part of our class. I tell them daily that chivalry is not dead. Genteelness, chivalry, and good manners are things that can and should be taught. I think that teaching such manners teaches students to have respect for themselves as well as those around them.

Chapter 9

As a young man I drank to rebel against my parents and everything that they stood for in my life. My father was a part time minister and a full time highway patrolman. Growing up everyone thought that I was a goodie-goodie and so I started to drink. I never realized that my drinking which at first was to rebel soon became a way to fill an emotional void. My parents had seven kids and my dad worked two jobs. My parents didn’t have a lot of time for each of us and it only got worse when my younger brother died. I was sent to live with the neighbors for a time as my mother struggled with a bout of depression. I have had a lot of opportunity to look back on my life and I realized that my drinking which started in eighth grade was for me a way to hide the pain of being forgotten my mother and wanting to prove that just because my dad was a cop and a minister I could be just as tough as everyone else.
I can look at some of my students and realize that they are doing the same thing. The one’s I know are drinking and experimenting with marijuana are the one’s who are seeking to fill a void created primarily through divorce. The student’s who I know are experimenting are the one’s who are craving their parents to notice them and spend time with them.
The stories that they tell of their experiences with the drinking and the marijuana are filled with dramatic acts and deeds that if they were sober or clearheaded the students never would have considered doing such stupid things. I find myself sharing some of my experiences and trying to guide and caution my students to avoid the traps and pitfalls that their experimentation will bring. My one hope is that possibly some might listen.

I really enjoyed the reading on "How Boys and Girls Learn Differently" because it was a great follow up to a discussion that my co-workers had at the end of last year. We had proposed to our school administration that we should be allowed to segregate the classes between boys and girls essentially giving us a class of all boys and a class of all girls for English and history. My coworker even wrote an annotated bibliography citing sources for reasons why it would be great for our students. However we were told that it was to radical of an idea and that the parents in the district would never accept it.

I appreciated the article because it supported the ideas that my coworkers and I had concerning our students academic needs. We all felt that it would be great to be able to teach to the needs of the students rather than allow the social interaction to have an influence on the learning environment. I agree that the social interaction of male and female will always have an influence, but if we could teach to one gender at a time then wouldn't we be better serving the needs of the students. This article seem to confirm a need to teach to the differences that exist in the way that males and females learn. It was a very enlightening read.