Random thoughts over first four chapters

I have read the first four chapters in two different stints, first two last weekend and the next two today. I am glad I did it this way because I have come away with two different ideas to reflect on; reading for boys in primary and our culture of cruelty.

It seems boys in primary school fit into two categories, those that excel and those who don't. I excelled, I was one of the top readers in my class if not the top. I give credit to my mom for reading to me often and also to my dad. One of my fondest childhood memories is when my dad brought two books back from the book mobile that had stopped at the little country store not far from our farm. One of the books was an ABC book and the other was Fireman Sam. Dad laid down on the couch and I curled up in his arms and he read these books to me and explained that they were library books and if we took good care of them we could return them in two weeks when the mobile came back and we could get two more books. I think I was four at the time. Dad also liked reading Brothers Grim type fairy tales to me. Mom read Dr. Seuss, Bernstein Bears, and Babar the elephant books to me. My mom read Bears on Wheels to me so many time that I memorized the words and started reading the book to her before I started Kindergarten. My dad would come in from his farm work for lunch and I would see him read the mail and the newspaper. He loved the comics, especially the Lockhorns, Gasoline Alley, and Blondie. I also fell in love with the comics and would read them to my sister who is three years younger than me.

My Kindergarten experience was different that many kids. I was part of the morning class which consisted of eleven boys and two girls. One of the girls moved away and they moved the remaining girl to the afternoon class which resulted in an all boys class. We had new students move in who where also boys so it ended up a class of fifteen boys and no girls. We were tight all through school and never did get along with the girls very good. We were a boy dominated class, we missed out on those "gender neutral" Kindergarten experiences and we felt superior to the girls in all we did. We refused to let them beat us in academics or in anything else. This boy/girl competition has had a negative effect on my whole life. It has been a very positive growing experience for me to go through the female dominant elementary education program at Mizzou and collaborate with my classmates as equals.

My first grade year was also unusual. Since my class was small and the class ahead of us was small they combined what normally would have been two first grades and two second grades into one first, one second, and a combined class. I was in the combined class that consisted of six first graders and 14 second graders. The only thing we first graders did without the second grade was reading group. Out of the six, three of us were boys and three were girls. I soon read through everything the teacher had and was moved in with the second graders in reading also.

I also loved my second grade teacher, but through four mediocre to bad teachers in a row I hated school by seventh grade and went into puberty with very low self esteem.

I bring these primary experiences up because I have a hard time relating to my own boys struggles with reading and to the students I teach. I have feelings of guilt for not reading to my five boys enough, never enough time or other things seem more important. I feel that I have let some of my sons down by not being patient enough with them and not making more time like my parents made for me.

So, the first two chapters of Raising Cain were quite enlightening to me from the stand point that boys who are naturally behind in communication skills can get all messed up because it takes longer for them to learn how to read. My second son (strong willed, all boy, kinetic, left handed, competitive, big for his age) had to be held back in Kindergarten mainly because he was a June birthday and struggled with school work. He went from one of the youngest in his class to one of the oldest and still struggles with school. He still, as a seventh grader, carries feelings of being stupid and inferiority with him. The book has helped me understand that many of the problems we have with him today might go all the back to sending him to school too early to begin with and not having enough patience with his struggles.

I will be a better teacher in my community by having this insight into a boy who struggles with reading psyche. I plan on making my classroom a safe place for all children to excel, grow, and get better no mater what the individual starting point is.

As politically unpopular as it might be, I think we need to make a push to catch boys up in communication as we have done with girls in math. It will take a culture of understanding, cooperation, and community to accept that it doesn't matter that many boys on average do not read as well as their girl counterparts in primary as long as we keep working to catch these boys up. It took until the fifth grade for my seventh grader to read at that magic third grade level. He entered sixth grade reading at a high fourth grade, low fifth grade level, but his sixth grade reading teacher performed a miracle and got him interested in reading by finding books that he liked. One year later he is reading at a high school level and going through two books a month. He still has his struggles, but many of the roadblocks are starting to come down. We all as educators would be well served by having patience with our slower readers and taking the time to find out what motivates each individual in our classrooms.

I was moved by chapter four. I now have a name for those crappy middle school years, "a culture of cruelty." Growing up I was a terror from the fifth grade until my Freshman year. I would not cooperate with teachers who I did not like, I picked on kids, and was mean. I struggled finding my way. I did not fit in well with any of the three cliques of boys in my class and kind've floated between all of them. It was not until my freshman year in high school that I found a group of older boys that I felt comfortable with. Part of this was because I went to a small rural school that had only two buildings; K-6 in one building and 7-12 in another. The seventh grade lockers were across the hall from the Seniors which could be quite scary. My growth came average to late and I went from top of the class in primary with reading to behind in middle school in growth. After reading these chapters I am getting the impression that reading and physical growth are the two biggest influences on boy self esteem. Maybe they are and maybe they aren't. I got through it like we all have and still carry some of the scares like many of us do.

Three of my own boys are in middle school, sixth, seventh, and ninth grades. Technically my ninth grader is in high school, but he is still facing many of the same pressers as in the book. My boys are having a more positive experience in middle school than what I had. They are all big and are growing faster than what I did. They are more athletic than I was at that age. My wife is six foot and has been that way since fifth grade (which is the boy equivalent of being a five foot freshman) and my boys are reaping the rewards of her genetics that caused her so much pain. This growth and maturity has created a whole new set of problems though. My freshman who is a three sport athlete, A honor roll, excellent at band, boy scout, active in church, loved by all his teachers and coaches, over achieving all-American, has gotten his freshman girl friend pregnant. I will be a 39 year old grandpa around St. Patrick's Day. Having a child who is a late bloomer doesn't seem so bad from this side of the fence.

I have learned at Mizzou (and have a great desire to implement in my future classroom) the importance of creating a sense of community in the classroom. This is one of the biggest changes in education since I was in school. If we all create this sense of community one classroom, one building, one school, at a time the world will be a better place for it and maybe the "culture of cruelty" will become a "culture of kindness". We can only hope.

We have created an educational environment that girls can excel in, now let us work at catching the boys up.

Far many in education this is too simplistic and does not contain enough eduation buzz words, but my ecucational philosophy is a simple one; "It is my job as and educator to teach my students how to read. Not only books, but math, art, music, the world about us, and most importantly PEOPLE. Reading leads to understanding and understanding leads to a society with more enlightened and compasionate people who have the confidence and skills to make a real difference."